The last couple of weeks, we have discussed the inner self at length. It can come as quite the surprise that you, at you very core, are broken up into different parts, each one competing for your attention and often standing in the way of your Inner Self.
Your Inner Self is your most calm and restorative being, but if a part of you (i.e. the anxious part, the annoyed part, the depressed part) stands in the way, it can result in something called blending. When parts of you blend together, they can misconstrue your sense of Self and make you feel that you are a discontent being at your very core. You can start to feel irreparably anxious or irreversibly angry.
This isn’t true. You are enough. You are content. You are calm. You are whole.
How Does Blending Happen?
When we experience an emotion that contradicts our Inner Self (i.e. anxiety, annoyance, bitterness), we have a choice as to how much attention we give it. We shouldn’t ignore it because that results in unhealthy or nonexistent healing, but we also cannot cave to it entirely. We cannot believe that part is us because it isn’t. Not in the slightest.
When blending occurs, we only see ourselves and our world through the lens of that part. So, for example, if your anxious part has blended with your Inner Self, absolutely anything and everything might bring you anxiety, right down to the little things. Things that should leave you unaffected and you usually handle with ease become riddled with anxiety and confusion, and even you know something is amiss.
In fact, you’ve likely noticed yourself blending without knowing what it was when you’ve said to yourself, “Man, I just don’t feel like myself today” or “I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
Don’t worry, you are still yourself, even if you don’t feel like it. You just have some unblending work to do.
3 Strategies for Unblending
This work can be intensive and unrewarding at first. Thankfully, with the right amount of patience and diligence, you will be able to unblend these contradictory parts and have them working more towards your Inner Self in no time at all.
- Identify the role of the part. What is this part of you trying to tell you? Better yet, what is this part of you trying to protect you from? (Remember: Each and every part of you only wants what is best for you!) So, for example, if you’re experiencing consistent anger to the extent that you have clearly blended, identify what you are actually angry about. If you’re definitively angry at your significant other for his lack of communication as of late, but this anger is presenting itself towards your colleague and even towards yourself, listen to what this angry part is trying to protect you from. Is it hoping to keep you from further hurt when your boyfriend doesn’t confide in you? Is it telling you that a conversation is in order?
- Have a hopeful conversation with the part. Offer peaceable alternatives to the part. Thank it for trying to protect you, but propose some healthier options instead. For example, ask the angry part of perhaps it would be more conducive to have a conversation with your boyfriend than to lash out in anger? Would it be a meaningful alternative to give him some grace this time around as he has been stressed with work lately and you know he internalizes his stress?
- Acknowledge the part once good work is done. Unblending can take a lot of hard work, and just as with any notable achievement, you deserve a pat on the back. The part of you that was willing to engage in obtaining healthier outcomes also deserves a little thank you.
Of all of these strategies, the most important thing is to remember that you are not anxious at your core. You are not angry through and through. You are not depressed or scared or resentful as an individual. These are just emotions you are experiencing that are standing head to head with your Inner Self.
Reach out today for help unblending and accessing your Inner Self. It would be my honor to work with each and every part of you.
