About Cristina Smugala

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So far Cristina Smugala has created 47 blog entries.

5 Keys to Healing From Parentification

Do you find yourself being your mom or dad’s go-to source of comfort when they are struggling with work or in their marriage? Have you always had a unique bond with one of your parents that resulted in you being their emotional confidant? Was taking care of your parent a burden that you felt unequipped for at such a young age? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of those questions, you might be a victim of [...]

By |2020-09-12T09:52:14+00:00September 29th, 2020|Recent|Comments Off on 5 Keys to Healing From Parentification

Fear of Abandonment: 6 Steps to Breaking the Cycle

When a person hears the term “abandonment,” they typically think of someone physically leaving their side— a child separated from their mother in the grocery store or a significant other deciding to call it quits, for example. But abandonment actually takes hold in a much more prevalent way.Emotional abandonment can be one of the driving forces in a relationship, even as the person is sitting right next to you.  Fear of abandonment is an innate, primal [...]

By |2020-09-23T16:25:51+00:00September 22nd, 2020|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Fear of Abandonment: 6 Steps to Breaking the Cycle

Key Ways Towards More Assertiveness

Assertiveness often gets a bad rap. People tend to equate it with pushiness or arrogance. Truth be told, there can be a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive. But make no mistake, assertiveness is not an intrinsically negative quality. When you are assertive, you are respectfully expressing your personal power. You’re not being selfish but you’re also not being passive. This is possible because it is possible to be forthcoming about your needs. At [...]

By |2020-08-31T20:19:18+00:00September 15th, 2020|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Key Ways Towards More Assertiveness

Healing The Inner Child in Trauma Recovery

Working With Your Inner Child for Trauma Recovery When you hear the word “trauma,” it may conjure up images of extreme, tragic, violent events. This makes sense, of course, but there’s plenty of room for nuance in the realm of childhood trauma. These experiences come in all sizes and dimensions. Anything that is physically or emotionally painful qualifies. It’s important to not downplay any such event. In the mind of a child, trauma takes many forms, [...]

By |2020-10-01T19:54:24+00:00September 12th, 2020|Recent|Comments Off on Healing The Inner Child in Trauma Recovery

Guilt, Boundaries, and Toxic Parents

Last time, we discussed the challenges and the importance of setting boundaries with toxic parents. It’s tough work but there’s more to it. Once those boundaries are set and enforced, you’ll have to come to terms with how you respond. Taking back control of your life is obviously a positive thing. But that does not mean it doesn’t have some emotional side effects. As you digest the changes (and deal with your parents’ reactions), you will [...]

By |2020-09-15T03:38:25+00:00September 8th, 2020|Recent|Comments Off on Guilt, Boundaries, and Toxic Parents

How to Set Firm Boundaries with Toxic Parents

It’s usually the case that no one can push your buttons like a family member. That may go double for parents. Even the most well-intentioned mother or father can overstep boundaries on a regular basis. However, when your parents are toxic, the dynamic shifts even more dramatically. In turn, the impact they can have on your mood — and your life — feel greater. This makes it all the more necessary to cultivate ways to set [...]

By |2020-09-15T03:41:44+00:00September 1st, 2020|Uncategorized|Comments Off on How to Set Firm Boundaries with Toxic Parents

Understanding Your Inner Critic’s Motivation + How To Work With It

It’s one of the most frustrating aspects of being a human. We can often be our own worst critic. Inside each and every one of us, there’s an internal monologue. It talks to us, guides us, warns us, and yes, it critiques us. This inner critic is a part of you but it is not you. The key to not letting a negative internal monologue dominate you is to understand who and what this inner [...]

By |2020-08-22T07:16:04+00:00August 25th, 2020|Recent|Comments Off on Understanding Your Inner Critic’s Motivation + How To Work With It

Trauma, People Pleasing, and the Fawn Response

Trauma and People PleasingEvery one of us undergoes stressful experiences. It’s normal and inevitable. When that stressful event brings you to a place of helplessness, utter horror, injury, or the threat of injury, it moves into the category of “trauma.” Human beings, in general, respond to traumatic events in four basic ways: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn/people-pleasing. The first three are easily understood simply by their name. But fawn? This survival skill is highlighted by avoidance [...]

By |2020-08-22T03:48:37+00:00August 18th, 2020|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Trauma, People Pleasing, and the Fawn Response

Over-Apologizing: Why You Do It & How To Stop

From women, the words “I’m sorry” are expected. In a male-dominated culture, women are raised to reflexively feel and take on guilt. Research has also found that women report themselves as committing more offenses than men. The result is often an avalanche of apologies — many, many of which are unwarranted. This trend can disempower girls and women. It can also damage a woman’s social standing. Perhaps most importantly, over-apologizing has the potential to infuse [...]

By |2020-08-31T20:13:20+00:00August 11th, 2020|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Over-Apologizing: Why You Do It & How To Stop

Women & Anger: Why Healthy Expression Matters

Everyone gets angry. It’s a normal and inevitable emotion. It can be uncomfortable but it can drive us toward important growth. Not everyone is made to feel comfortable when they express anger, however. Women are conditioned to stay calm — even under extreme duress. Anger is not ladylike. It’s not feminine. Thus, it’s not appropriate. There is a terrible bias at play in this societal norm. In addition, a potentially dangerous health scenario is being [...]

By |2020-08-31T20:08:39+00:00August 4th, 2020|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Women & Anger: Why Healthy Expression Matters
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