Do you find yourself being your mom or dad’s go-to source of comfort when they are struggling with work or in their marriage? Have you always had a unique bond with one of your parents that resulted in you being their emotional confidant? Was taking care of your parent a burden that you felt unequipped for at such a young age? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of those questions, you might be a victim of [...]
When a person hears the term “abandonment,” they typically think of someone physically leaving their side— a child separated from their mother in the grocery store or a significant other deciding to call it quits, for example. But abandonment actually takes hold in a much more prevalent way.Emotional abandonment can be one of the driving forces in a relationship, even as the person is sitting right next to you. Fear of abandonment is an innate, primal [...]
It’s one of the most frustrating aspects of being a human. We can often be our own worst critic. Inside each and every one of us, there’s an internal monologue. It talks to us, guides us, warns us, and yes, it critiques us. This inner critic is a part of you but it is not you. The key to not letting a negative internal monologue dominate you is to understand who and what this inner [...]
Trauma and People Pleasing Every one of us undergoes stressful experiences. It’s normal and inevitable. When that stressful event brings you to a place of helplessness, utter horror, injury, or the threat of injury, it moves into the category of “trauma.” Human beings, in general, respond to traumatic events in four basic ways: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn/people-pleasing. The first three are easily understood simply by their name. But fawn? This survival skill is highlighted [...]
How to Stop Over-Apologizing Accept Imperfection Everyone — every single one of us — makes mistakes. Embracing our inherent imperfection can help take the sting out of real or perceived gaffes. You will be less likely to see yourself a “mistake-prone.” Take Responsibility Only For Your Part Plenty of folks will happily deflect blame and dump it on someone else. Think about the profound manipulation of: “Look what you made me do.” Practice identifying your [...]
Everyone gets angry. It’s a normal and inevitable emotion. It can be uncomfortable but it can drive us toward important growth. Not everyone is made to feel comfortable when they express anger, however. Women are conditioned to stay calm — even under extreme duress. Anger is not ladylike. It’s not feminine. Thus, it’s not appropriate. There is a terrible bias at play in this societal norm. In addition, a potentially dangerous health scenario is being [...]
We live in a time when, in our pocket, we carry a mini-computer that defies imagination. Everything we think we could possibly need or want is available with just a few clicks — or so we’re led to believe. But what happens when that magical distraction machine obscures our instinctual ingenuity and vision? Too often, we lose focus, sacrifice inspiration, and delegate creativity. Sure, our devices have many useful applications but they should never, ever [...]
