When someone we love undergoes a crisis, our instant response is usually rooted in compassion. We step up in any way we can to let them know that we are there for them. In the process, we not only help a person in need but we enrich our own lives. A related paradox exists, however. Far too often, we seem unable to muster the same kind of treatment for ourselves, but it is crucial, especially when a victim of childhood trauma.
When we are the ones who are suffering, for example, we can get bogged down in shame, self-criticism, and regret. Yet, the ongoing pain caused by childhood trauma calls out for our self-compassion. It has been shown — time and time again — to be an important part of this difficult recovery.
The Long-Term Impact of Childhood Trauma
Recovery from childhood trauma is not a destination. It’s an ongoing journey with many twists and turns. Healing doesn’t arrive in a neat package. Not all symptoms will subside. Living with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a challenge — but there is a roadmap. Reaching out for help is a crucial first step.
You will need support along the way but some of the power remains in your hands. Running parallel to the therapeutic approaches is your decision to practice self-compassion. You can see in yourself the same needs you’d attentively tend to in a loved one. No treatment plan is complete without daily doses of self-love.
Self-Compassion and PTSD
The healing power of self-compassion is universal but it may work differently under certain circumstances. For those who have endured childhood trauma, self-compassion plays a particularly important role in connecting to your inner child.
The painful events of your past deprived you of some essential childhood experiences. The practice of self-compassion provides the opportunity to acknowledge and accept the suffering you felt. You can grieve for your losses and learn how to support yourself now. Self-compassion gives you the chance to give yourself the soothing love that was absent at the time of the trauma.
4 Key Ways Self-Compassion Supports Healing From Childhood Trauma
1. Reminding Yourself That You Are Worth It
Childhood trauma can leave with shattered self-esteem. Practicing self-compassion helps to counter this symptom by building self-worth as a default setting.
2. Replacing Self-Blame With Self-Love
Unable to fully process the trauma, the younger version of you may have “accepted” that you must be to blame. It’s now safe to release that dysfunctional belief. In its place, you can inject a healthy dose of empathy and compassion — as you would do for any innocent victim.
3. Telling Yourself NOW What You Needed to Hear in the Past
There was so much you wanted and needed to hear during the traumatic events. The absence of caretakers may leave you wanting well into adulthood. Self-compassion will guide you as you create a safe, new environment today. It’s never too late to treat yourself as your own dedicated and loving caretaker.
4. Building Up Your Resilience
PTSD symptoms persist and some never fully resolve. Managing this reality requires resilience. The foundation of your trauma resilience can be built with self-loving choices. When times get challenging, self-compassion may feel like your adult self comforting your childhood self.
Learning Self-Compassion Skills
Any new skill requires instruction and practice. For the victim of childhood trauma, it is more complicated than that because so much of your past experience runs counter to the idea of self-compassion. Therefore, it is often necessary to receive some guidance on this long road. By committing to weekly therapy sessions, you are showing even more self-compassion in action. You have identified your needs and taken thoughtful steps to attend to them. Think of trauma counseling as your self-compassion training ground.
