Take a look in the mirror. Do you see you or do you see the stories you tell yourself? It’s not an easy question to answer. Our stories can appear as real as our flesh and blood bodies. They are our autobiography — at least, for now.
You see, stories aren’t always true. They may begin as truth but eventually grow outdated. Unfortunately, we often hang on to these tales long after they’ve passed their expiration dates. It requires awareness and hard work to identify this pattern and the role it plays in our lives.
Many Versions of You Within Your Stories?
They say perception is reality and that tenet fuels both our stories and their outcomes. We may imagine ourselves the type to join a gym and commit to fitness. This doesn’t always translate into endurance and a six-pack. Just as easily, our inner monologue may tell us negative stories like:
- You’re not good enough.
- Nobody likes you.
- Why bother? It’s never gonna happen for you.
- You always fail.
Each story we accept sets into motion a potential version of us. They motivate our thoughts and actions. Our stories can even shape how others see us. There may be only one of you but what we tell ourselves can disconnect and fragment us.
Like and Share
Consider the typical social media profile. For the most part, it’s a carefully curated presentation that a person puts forth into the digital world. It reflects the stories we think are true or wish we true or are afraid to be true. Our stories reflect so many factors, e.g.
- Beliefs
- Experiences
- Fears
- Hopes
- Doubts
- Shame
- Guilt
Many of these factors served us at one point or another. All of them will become outdated. Hanging on to them blocks us from starting new. We lose a golden opportunity to grow and learn and evolve.
How to Deal with the Outdated Stories We Tell Ourselves
1. Identify Them
This is the foundation. We can spend decades acting out an obsolete role without even realizing. The first step is to expose this pattern. It may require help and therapy is a great place to seek such help (see below).
2. Ask Others to Help You Identify Them
Besides counseling, it may be useful to talk with those closest to you — your trusted inner circle. They may see your stories far more clearly than you do. With their help, you can delete useless narratives and challenge your inner critic.
3. View Them as Dreams or Fairy Tales
There are some stories you can comfortably accept as false. Challenge unproductive scripts in your life and relationships. Remind yourself that you are more than capable of hearing stories without feeling compelled to believe them.
4. Don’t Act on Them
Maybe you’ve recognized a few stories. Some friends have added in a couple more. And perhaps you’ve begun utilizing a new perspective that not all stories are true. The next step? To practice NOT acting on your stories. Rather than live productive storylines, uncover them, drag them out into the light of awareness and acceptance. Then exercise your right to reclaim your own narrative and change the arc of your future.
5. Embrace Mindfulness
In an increasingly digital world, it can be hard for anyone to achieve clarity. This is where mindfulness becomes so valuable. Release the past. Don’t fear the future. Or compare your needs and wants to anyone else. Power down your devices and allow yourself to occupy the present without judgment.
Sometimes, You Need a Story Editor
Working with a counselor is an ideal way to better understand your stories and the role they play in your life. It’s not a simple task but it’s made easier with the help of a skilled professional. It’s your autobiography, after all, but every writer could benefit from a good editor! Please reach out for a consultation soon.
