There is no shortage of self-empowerment memes. Each day, we are subject to dozens — if not hundreds — of digital messages encouraging us to live life according to our values.

This is a classic case of “easier said than done.” While it is certainly a noble and important goal …what does it mean?

To live by our values, we must first be able to identify them. Even when that task is completed, we must then cultivate ways to get started.

Why Values Can Be Confusing

Your values are more than your principles. They go deeper and fuel your emotions, your thoughts, and your actions. We all have surface characteristics like hobbies, careers, and preferences for certain performers or sports teams. Your values reflect a deeper truth — from unconscious dreams and ideas to conscious goals and aspirations. But, be careful! Values are not only positive. You can and probably do have some negative values. Values are not the same as morals. They are better viewed as personal beliefs and guidelines that give our lives meaning. They are best understood when witnessed in action.

What it Means to Live Your Values

It may be easiest to identify your values when you put in a position that requires a tough decision. Imagine you’ve agreed to help a friend move this weekend. On Friday, another friend invites you out of town for a free weekend of fun. Do you cancel on the first friend or follow-through on your commitment? In moments like this, we (and others) can more clearly see values in action.

To live your values requires you to remain aware and mindful. When you are in touch with your thoughts and feelings in the present moment, you are more likely to be guided by your values. You can tune out influences like:

  • Advertising and marketing
  • The opinions and/or manipulations of others
  • Peer pressure
  • Guilt, obligation, and shame

This does NOT mean you ignore boundaries or force your beliefs on others. Rather, it is a path toward acceptance of what meaningful options exist for you at a given moment.

How to Get Started With Living Your Values

Interview Yourself

Ask yourself to list some times when you felt like YOU. Not necessarily the best version of you but times when you were in your element. Once that list contains a few entries, ask yourself what made these times so unique. These two lines of self-exploration will reveal your values.

Explore the Values You Uncover

Once your self-interviews has revealed some of your values, take some time exploring what they are and why they matter to you. Remember, these are primary factors in your feeling authentic and content. Understanding these values will empower you toward living them more often. Get to know them. Ponder their meaning and role in your life. Discover how they contributed to the positive times you compiled on your first list above.

Mindfully Apply What You’ve Learned (and continue to learn)

Embrace the interview lessons by

  • a) applying what you’ve learned
  • b) committing to this process as an ongoing practice.

When Your Values and Your Behaviors Are at Odds

Let’s bring this back to the whole “easier said than done” thing. Your values are not superseded when you ask for help. One might argue that it takes vision and humility to recognize when you’re stuck.

Working with a counselor puts you in the ideal position to dig deep and identify your personal truth. You can retool the aforementioned negative values while learning how to be true to yourself —all without exploiting others. Your therapy sessions can serve as a safe space. There, you can discover and implement your guiding values.

Please read about living authentically through empowerment coaching and let’s meet soon for a consultation.