We don’t start believing we are incapable until this belief is conditioned via an invalidating environment. Children internalize messages about themselves. If these messages are invalidating — for example, they are not capable of meeting their own needs — it can shape perspective and behavior into adulthood. Directly or indirectly, our parents and caregivers teach us about our worth and our capabilities. If those lessons are not validating, you may be left searching for affirmation [...]

As a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, therapy sessions are currently being held through video telehealth counseling, using a confidential and HIPAA compliant video platform. Although this format may seem strange, or as though it would not be as productive as in-office therapy, research shows telehealth counseling is as effective at treating mental health disorders as an in-person therapy session. Telehealth counseling is an excellent resource for receiving treatment with many benefits. Most clients are [...]

For a culture obsessed with relationships, there’s still so much we’re not taught about them. We read clickbait articles about finding “true love.” Celebrity romances are headline news. In fact, so much of what we consume is centered around people meeting and trying to meet, only to perpetually break up and make up. Where is the foundational information about healthy connection? How do we know the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy bond, between codependency [...]

Self-Soothing Techniques as a Response to Trauma When a person experiences trauma, their body decreases the ability to control their emotions. As Mollon’s research suggested, the experience of trauma deregulates the individual’s ability to regulate emotional experience and manage physical arousal (Mollon, 2005). This process may leave the trauma survivor hypervigilant and vulnerable to any emotional, physical, and sensory cues reminiscent of the trauma. When a trauma cue is present the mind and the body become [...]

There is nothing that can make you feel like a disgracefully shameful human being quite like the guilt trip. It's that horrible sinking feeling that we get in our chest that screams we are letting someone we care about down and leaves us feeling like we are a sad merciless soul. We see the look of disappointment on the guilt tripper's face, they may even criticize us or put us down or blame us for [...]

It would be impossible to list all the varied circumstances that could bring a couple together. So many of these elements are positive and may even feel magical at the time. However, other bonds are forged by factors that remain invisible. These factors can be far from magical. In fact, they may keep you trapped in a cycle of suffering and feeling stuck. An insidious example of this type of connection is a trauma bond. [...]

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In psychology, the term ‘bonding’ refers to a positive experience of feeling closer to someone after spending time together or going through a really good or very stressful experience together. However, ‘trauma bonding’ or ‘traumatic bonding’ represents a state of emotional attachment to an abuser. In traumatic bonding, a person tends to mistake abuse for love, which keeps them loyal to the abuser and the traumatic experience.