Trauma does not always fit neatly into a box or category. Many times, it is best comprehended through the eye of the beholder. While society may often agree on what constitutes a traumatic experience — e.g. death of a loved one, abuse (physical, sexual, emotional), natural disaster, etc. — there is so much more to consider. Miscarriage and infertility, for example, are often taboo topics. The experience of an early loss, however, is almost universally [...]
When someone we love undergoes a crisis, our instant response is usually rooted in compassion. We step up in any way we can to let them know that we are there for them. In the process, we not only help a person in need but we enrich our own lives. A related paradox exists, however. Far too often, we seem unable to muster the same kind of treatment for ourselves, but it is crucial, especially [...]
Take a look in the mirror. Do you see you or do you see the stories you tell yourself? It’s not an easy question to answer. Our stories can appear as real as our flesh and blood bodies. They are our autobiography — at least, for now. You see, stories aren’t always true. They may begin as truth but eventually grow outdated. Unfortunately, we often hang on to these tales long after they’ve passed their expiration [...]
Grief is one of the most complex yet misunderstood emotions. Being that it grows out of loss, it is often uncomfortable to explore or discuss, especially when it is the result of infertility. For some, it’s too private. Others fear they will look weak if they engage in prolonged mourning. For almost all of us, grief is almost exclusively associated with the death of a loved one. All of these connotations can serve to complicate our [...]
It’s a dynamic we all recognize. Yet somehow, the lessons we learn about compassion, particularly self-compassion, don’t always stick. Think back to the last time someone you love came to you with a problem. It might a friend, partner, family member — anyone with whom you share respect, trust, and love. This person tells you about a mess they’ve gotten into or some emotional pain they are experiencing. They could really use a compassionate ear. You [...]
We don’t start believing we are incapable until this belief is conditioned via an invalidating environment. Children internalize messages about themselves. If these messages are invalidating — for example, they are not capable of meeting their own needs — it can shape perspective and behavior into adulthood. Directly or indirectly, our parents and caregivers teach us about our worth and our capabilities. If those lessons are not validating, you may be left searching for affirmation [...]
As a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, therapy sessions are currently being held through video telehealth counseling, using a confidential and HIPAA compliant video platform. Although this format may seem strange, or as though it would not be as productive as in-office therapy, research shows telehealth counseling is as effective at treating mental health disorders as an in-person therapy session. Telehealth counseling is an excellent resource for receiving treatment with many benefits. Most clients are [...]
For a culture obsessed with relationships, there’s still so much we’re not taught about them. We read clickbait articles about finding “true love.” Celebrity romances are headline news. In fact, so much of what we consume is centered around people meeting and trying to meet, only to perpetually break up and make up. Where is the foundational information about healthy connection? How do we know the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy bond, between codependency [...]
Self-Soothing Techniques as a Response to Trauma When a person experiences trauma, their body decreases the ability to control their emotions. As Mollon’s research suggested, the experience of trauma deregulates the individual’s ability to regulate emotional experience and manage physical arousal (Mollon, 2005). This process may leave the trauma survivor hypervigilant and vulnerable to any emotional, physical, and sensory cues reminiscent of the trauma. When a trauma cue is present the mind and the body become [...]
There is nothing that can make you feel like a disgracefully shameful human being quite like the guilt trip. It's that horrible sinking feeling that we get in our chest that screams we are letting someone we care about down and leaves us feeling like we are a sad merciless soul. We see the look of disappointment on the guilt tripper's face, they may even criticize us or put us down or blame us for [...]
